I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He shit in the fireplace
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
