My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You may now shotgun with the bride
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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