Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
