real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
