Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found puke in my bra..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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