Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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