I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
