last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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