We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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