He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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