oh god the rape fog is back!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
