he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
