im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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