He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
