Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
