Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
