I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If that was your dad, he is hot
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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