PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
