dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
