awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
