Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I died a long time ago.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
