i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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