did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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