just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize