she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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