I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
