if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's shark week go big or go home
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
