and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
