wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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