doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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