Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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