dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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