I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
