Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
