now i know why i became what i already was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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