I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
