we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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