Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
please don't ironically join a cult
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