Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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