If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
