He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
