I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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