hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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