He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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