i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
