Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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