how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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