We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
