And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
