What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
