When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
