Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
