i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
