are you still at the devil's house?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
